i earned my url by only ever rereading specific selected chapters from the first 3 books and pretending i didn't know they made a tv show of it and frankly people just need to respect that austin {he/she}
love that otto was like “alicent, you can’t be friends with rhaenyra because she’ll inevitably kill your children” and alicent went “my what? oh, them” then criston said “rhaenyra fucked someone who isn’t you” and alicent’s kill that bitch switch instantly flipped to ON
experiencing the locked tomb series solely through scrolling past fanart on tumblr and then actually reading gideon the ninth is so funny because i just assumed that gideon and harrow’s super goth skeleton face-paint look was just like. normal necromancer garb in the world of the book so imagine my surprise and amusement when i found out that they’re actually like. their world’s version of amish people
tazmuir really said what if the earth was a girl. what if the soul of a planet was a little girl who wanted a birthday party by the ocean with all her closest friends because she loved them all so, so dearly, and her love was a force of nature, so much that it could swallow bullets through her skull and hide her memories away long enough for her to have a real family, a family that shouldn’t have been but they just couldn’t help loving her back, they couldn’t stop. tazmuir said what if a dead planet was alive in a girl and she didn’t know how to do anything but love.
characters who refuse to bury the loved one… who hide the rotting body somewhere in the house. who drag it for miles bc they can’t leave it behind. who cannibalize. who taxidermize. who come back and dig up the bones
locked tomb characters as tweets from the “make up a guy” (@makeupaguy) twitter page
gideon nav: god damn it this is just another guy that’s a homestuck fan character
harrowhark nonagesimus: guy who forgor ☠️
judith deuteros: guy who has a discomfort food for when they’re feeling a little too good
marta dyas: guy who keeps ruining the mood during homoerotic swordfights by getting seriously injured
ianthe tridentarius: guy who does terrible things just so they can find out if hell is actually real
coronabeth tridentarius: guy whose tits are always out and they’ve got a doctor’s note for having their tits out just in case someone tells them to not have em out
naberius tern: guy that’s 5'8
isaac tettares: guy who has a ton of piercings so if someone wants to eat them they can’t microwave them
jeannemary chatur: guy who got a bunch of very sharp face piercings as a defense mechanism against being kissed
abigail pent: guy who rates halloween costumes by ghost warding capabilties
magnus quinn: guy who’s just a framing device for all these dad jokes I’ve got
palamedes sextus: the forbidden 6th guy
camilla hect: guy who doesn’t know the word for ambidextrous so they call themselves “hand bisexual”
dulcinea septimus: guy who says the word “cough” instead of actually coughing
protesilaus ebdoma: guy who puts little flowers in their hair every day (:
silas octakiseron: guy who wears an old-timey full body bathing suit to a nude beach
colum asht: guy who invents a new way to die
john gaius: guy who refers to war crimes as “military cringe compilations”
commander wake: guy who is the ceo of antifa
alecto the first: guy who’s only 5'15 tall
mercymorn the first: guy who critiques lore inconsistencies under @makeupaguy tweets
cristabel oct: guy who ran up that hill and made a deal with god
augustine the first: guy who wants to join an mlm scheme because they both love men and scheming
alfred quinque: guy who goes to the library and uses a marker to black out all the swear words in books
gideon the first: guy who always introduces themself second and claims to have the same name as you
pyrrha dve: guy who just loves twirling their gay little revolvers
cytherea loveday: guy who uses pictures of themself as reaction images on twitter
loveday heptane: guyf (guy wife)
BONUS tamsyn muir: guy who headcanons jesus as gnc af
